I am sick. My self-diagnosis is allergies + cough + whatever it is that makes me unable to stay awake for 3 consecutive hours. It doesn’t matter, whatever it is it has kept me on the couch for the better part of today with nothing to do but watch cartoons and action movies and talk to my friends in a whiny manner.
I’ve had a few variations of this conversation today:
Me – I’m sick.
Friend – Oh, I’m sorry. Do you need anything?
Me – No, but thanks.
It’s very nice of them to offer, although of course what they mean is “please don’t breathe on me.” And of course what I mean is “Yes, I need an immune system. And ice cream. And a puppy.” I cannot ask for these things, though, because I am an adult. Except around my mother, and she wouldn’t bring me a puppy anyway.
I think I was still holding out hope for a visit from the ice cream fairy when a few hours later, this conversation happened:
Me: I should probably go get ice cream.
Lacy: I have wine.
Me: So you support this decision, then?
Lacy: I support every decision.
Yep. That’s ten years of friendship summed up in four beautiful sentences.
So with Lacy’s blessing and the addition of a pair of pants, I went out and got some ice cream (and some ibuprofen, because I am not against conventional medicine, I just prefer desserts). I brought it back to my apartment and cracked open my freezer, and what do you suppose I found?
A half-empty tub of ice cream.
I’m sure there’s a lesson for us all here somewhere. Sometimes what you’re looking for is right where you left it? No, that’s the tagline to Sweet Home Alabama. Hmmm, be less ridiculous? No, that’s the opposite of what my life is about. How about next time you start jonesing for sweets, maybe check your immediate surroundings first before driving off in a feverish state to the pharmacy, only then remembering that your car is threatening to die and you might be stranded with the local hobos and hooligans who populate the parking lot at night, and they might expect you to share your ice cream.
It may seem specific to you but I’m 80% certain this is something I’ll need to learn at least once more in my life.