Rebooting (with spoons)

A few years ago, I was getting ready to host my family for Thanksgiving when I realized I didn’t have enough forks. I did all the dishes, looked in all the drawers and came up with exactly five forks. I fretted for a few hours, until I remembered there are only five people in my family and as long as no forks disappeared mid-meal we’d be fine. I still fessed up to my family, and my fork shortage became a running joke. (My mother gave me one fork in a jewelry box for Christmas.) Now that I’m no longer literally running out of forks, I find myself counting my metaphorical spoons.

There’s this thing called The Spoon Theory.  If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s an explanation of life with a chronic illness as illustrated by a bouquet of spoons. Why spoons? Because they were the closest object to the storyteller at the time. It’s a weird metaphor, but it caught on long before I came to the chronic life scene, so I’m rolling with it. I have now joined a gang called the Spoonies. (Like the Goonies, except instead of searching for pirate gold we might eat some soup later if we can get out of bed.)

It took me a while to admit to myself that I am a spoonie, and even longer to admit it to anyone else, even the people to whom it is painfully obvious. I am speaking here specifically of Lacy, my best friend and roommate who has become my accidental but eternally patient caretaker. Well before we knew what was going on, she took over grocery shopping. She accepted my total domination of the couch. She accompanied me to several late-night ER visits. And she makes great coffee.

Lacy and many others have been there for me over the past year and a half, particularly during what I like to call the Hard Reboot of Rachel. My wonderful workplaces and school let me take several months off to attempt to “get better” or at least figure out what was wrong. Basically, I watched everything on Netflix in between doctor’s appointments, and even though I am not better, I’m so grateful to everyone who let me take that time and supported me through it.*

I’m still Rebooting. I’ve had time to come to terms with the pain of ON, but it’s harder to accept the changes to my life. Knowing my supply of spoons is limited does not stop me from trying to do everything I used to do. It’s kind of like deciding to have another beer and knowing you run the risk of a hangover the next day, except instead of having a beer, it’s reading a book. Or taking a shower. Or working a full day. And instead of a hangover, it’s…actually, that is what it feels like sometimes.

I’m trying to spend my spoons wisely. Work. School. Seeing friends and family in limited ways, even if I know it will cost me later. And the upcoming Women’s March Minnesota.  That one is going to hurt in so many ways, but it’s necessary in so many more.

*I’m especially thankful to the people who went above and beyond to bring me to or from ERs, hospitals, pain clinics, and more: Aimee, Bryan, Lacy, and my family.

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My parents went to Mardi Gras and wrote about it in a newspaper for senior citizens

Avid readers of Senior Perspective, Prairie Edition (and who isn’t!) will recognize a version of this story from the April issue. Avid readers of anything I’ve ever written will know I get a lot of entertainment out of my parents. My mom (the one person who falls into both those categories) has given me permission to share this here, and I’m doing so because everyone needs to know what my dad is like on an airplane. Also, because my parents went to Mardi Gras then got a story about it in a newspaper aimed at Midwestern senior citizens. Words are all my mother’s – even the ones about mardi gras beads – but I added a few pictures.

Vacation Postcard

by Tish Peterson

The back story:

For the first time (ever!) Pete and I took a week-long vacation in search of warm weather. We flew to Dallas, rented a car, and drove down to the gulf coast of Mississippi, with stops in Louisiana along the way. I had every good intention of sending postcards (even went to the post office for stamps ahead of time, but the PO only had post card stamps in rolls of 100.  Yeah, right, like that’s gonna happen). But vacation postcards usually arrive after the vacation’s over anyway, so now that we’re home, I thought I’d take a few minutes to send out this version of our postcards.

To clarify right off:  We had fun!!!

It was like we were in our own version of reality shows, starting with:

ICE ROAD TRUCKER:

It took us 3 hours to drive from home to Minneapolis, and highway 494 had more turbulence than any airplane ride I’ve ever been on.  We were in the truck and Pete did an excellent job of driving.  I’m sure if it had been me behind the wheel I’d have gone through all the underwear in my suitcase by the time we got to the hotel.

Pete hadn’t flown in over 30 years, but all went well.  It was weird for ME to be the calm one on the flight, though!  I had a crossword puzzle to keep me distracted, but all he had was the window and the wing to look at.  I gave him my iPod when I realized I had it handy, which helped a bit.  Once he adjusted the volume to a level where he could hear it, however, he tended to yell everything he wanted to say (and you know how his voice carries anyway!).  Every so often he’d boom out, “NO SNOW DOWN THERE”  or  “WE MUST BE OVER OMAHA NOW” ~ which caused a murmur among the passengers, who probably thought we were getting updates from the pilot, as they peeked outside for a glimpse of non-snow or Nebraska.

To clarify, this is my pops - exactly the kind of person you want yelling on an airplane

To clarify, this is my pops – exactly the kind of person you want yelling on an airplane

MASTERPIECE MYSTERY:

When Rachel and I were in Ireland we nicknamed our rental car “The Trusty Steed.”  On this trip, the most frequent reference to the car was “What Does The Car Look Like?” and/or “Where Did We Park?”

SWAMP PEOPLE:

We drove from Dallas to West Monroe, Louisiana, and as we entered the elevator at the Holiday Inn, a young couple got on behind us.  I could hardly believe my eyes, but the guy had a live squirrel on his shoulder.  With a heavy drawl and a shucks-ma’am delivery he explained how he’d found it as a baby when he was hunting, and now it was his pet.  If I could have gotten off the elevator I would have, but instead I just smiled politely and hoped the squirrel wouldn’t look at me, or my underwear would once again be in jeopardy.

The vacation was off to a great start.

The vacation was off to a great start.

We ate at a local restaurant, with service by a darling young girl with a huge smile, but when she asked, “Yallslldoongdeeyah?” without actually moving her lips, it took me three deer-in-the-headlights “Excuse me?”s before I realized she was asking if we all were still doing good here.  Once I had cracked the code and interpreted the question, my joyous and explosive, “yes, Yes, oh YES!”  had other people looking around to see if Harry had just met Sally.

DUCK DYNASTY:

Okay, this was the highlight of the vacation for me, and actually my whole reason for going:  getting a photo op in front of the Duck Commander warehouse, and ambling throughout the gift shop for souvenirs.  I’m easily amused.  The warehouse is actually where the duck calls are still made, and where the show is filmed.  Didn’t see any Robertsons, but enjoyed myself anyway.

PGA GOLF TOUR:

We drove down to the gulf coast, staying for 3 nights in Ocean Springs, MS.  Our first mission was to locate a golf course for Pete.  That was probably the highlight of the vacation for him, coupled with the fact that there was that 7-ft alligator near the tee box on hole #10.  I was the first to spot it and could barely believe my eyes.  Come to find out (later) that there are many alligators on the course (we spotted 7), but the real danger is the SNAKES ~ which I’d been happily unaware of when I was helping Pete locate a lost ball.  Yikes!

Here let's all look at the alligator on the golf course and NOT make jokes about lost balls okay

Here let’s all look at the alligator on the golf course and NOT make jokes about my dad’s lost ball okay

GATOR BOYS: 

Not content to simply see 7 gators on the golf course, we headed over to the Gulf Shores Gator Farm, where Pete got to actually hold a live alligator and we took an air boat ride through their swamp.  We met an alligator in the swamp that came to the boat when called by the guide.  Tidbit:  alligators like marshmallows.  Who knew?

THE HISTORY CHANNEL:

A cool/rainy/dreary day on the coast, so we took in a tour of Beauvoir, the last home of Jefferson Davis.  It was very enlightening to me.  I had no idea what a deeply committed patriot Jefferson Davis had been, active in the government in DC prior to the civil war. (My Civil War history knowledge consists mostly of what I learned from Gone With The Wind.)  All the doors in the house were literally 12 feet tall, but the bath tub was the size of a coffee cup.  (What did these people look like????)  We really learned a lot, and had a good time in the process.

THE AMAZING RACE: 

Almost every time we had to get from point A to point B, in spite of having written directions, a map, and a GPS, we inevitably spent time and again doubling-back and driving around in at least one circle.  Sometimes we could actually SEE where we wanted to be, but couldn’t actually see how to get there.  the GPS ~ which is named Gertrude ~ has a bit of a devious nature or warped sense of humor.  “When possible, make a U-Turn” or “Proceed to the nearest road.”  You can just about hear her wanting to add, “……Dummy.”

THE BIG EASY:

Although we didn’t spend the night in New Orleans, we stopped on our way through to take the bus tour, and I’m so glad we did.  It gave us the chance to see some of the sights of the city that we wouldn’t have otherwise.  (Passed close to Sandra Bullock’s house/mansion, but I’m thinking she was away for the weekend getting ready for the Oscars.)  I think we rode along a Mardi Gras parade route ~ there were chairs and stands set up along the way, and already tons of beads hanging in the trees from earlier parades.  I actually won some beads on the bus tour, by being able to correctly pronounce the name of one of the streets we passed.  I can’t remember what it was, although it sounded something like Oompa-Loompa……..   anyway, I walked away with 2 strings of green beads, and I didn’t even have to take off my shirt!!!  It was actually so cool on the tour that I had on two shirts, a fleece jacket and a windbreaker, so taking anything off wasn’t even a option!

THE MAN SHOW:

I’m not sure there really is a Man Show (there was, but I’m really glad you’ve never seen it, mom – R), but if there is I’ll bet it includes a 2-hour browse throughout Bass Pro Shop, followed by lunch at Hooters, and a guided tour of the Shreveport Water Works Museum, which was how My Man and I spent Friday, up until the time of………(wait for it)……..

MARDI GRAS PARADE!!!  Although not as expansive as New Orleans, Shreveport has a very respectable parade, with about 50 huge floats, and three marching bands, which lasted about 1 1/2 hours.  Unbelievable to me that we were actually there for a parade, but I have a significant collection of beads (and photos) to prove it.  (Again, no removal of shirts were involved; it’s a family-friendly event)  Almost as amazing as being there, is the fact that I was able to catch some of the beads when they were thrown from the floats ~ I’m so terribly non-athletic, my first instinct was to duck for cover when the beads headed my way.    Ended up with a bunch of them anyway, thanks to Pete.

Mardi Gras MADNESS

Mardi Gras MADNESS

Almost forgot to mention the favorite reality show!  THE FOOD NETWORK!!!  the BEST Mexican food, chicken gumbo, crab po-boy, shrimp creole, fried catfish, alligator bites (deep-fried mush, in my opinion), crab cakes, and some of the best sweet potatoes I’ve ever had.

STORM CHASERS:

Leaving Shreveport, the temp was in the 60s, and by the time we reached the outskirts of Dallas it was down to about 28 degrees.  I was behind the wheel ~ saying my prayers through wind, sleet, ice, slush, and rain ~ just hoping we’d be able to return “WDTCLL?”  to Avis in one piece.  God is good, and we made it, but once at the airport the weather only got worse, and we watched the announcement boards as three flights to Minneapolis were cancelled………

Ours was only 45 minutes late, and we made it back to our hotel in the cities by 10 p.m., feeling great that our part in SURVIVOR was over!

Arrived home.
Cold and snowy.
Two suitcases full of laundry.
Nothing in the fridge.
But nonetheless:
We had a wonderful time, but it’s good to be home!

And just in case you’re wondering what my dad had to say about the first vacation he’s had in years, here’s his summary:

"keeping up on face" means "we saw that you made a joke about us on Facebook," as if that was going to stop me

“keeping up on face” means “we saw that you made a joke about us on Facebook,” as if that will ever stop me from making jokes about my parents on Facebook.

I LOVE MY WEIRD FUNNY PARENTS. Next time let’s send them to Vegas.

Dedicated To My Roommate

A few days ago, I met up with someone I hadn’t talked to since early August. She asked me what was new in my life, and I laughed in her face.

There’s just a lot going on right now, guys.

One of the best things to happen to me recently – and probably in all of 2013 – is acquiring a roommate. This is not usually the top of the list for the almost-thirty crowd, but my roommate is not a stranger I’ve found on Craigslist; she is my best friend hetero-lifemate, Lacy. Who I found on Craigslist.

No, that’s not true, I found her in high school.  A dozen years later, we’ve finally fulfilled our teenage dream to get an apartment together and fill it with books. Nerds in high school, nerds 4 life!

So far, living together has resulted in texts like this:

text

And notes like this:

note

And nights like this:

night

Currently, we’re following up our traditional Margarita Monday (two weeks is a tradition, right?) with some Futurama in our pjs. She doesn’t know I’m writing this. And she just texted me an emoticon of Zoidberg from the other side of our couch.

So far living with my best friend is as amazing as I imagined it would be, but with more cartoons.

I know; it won’t always be this way. Check back in six months, and maybe the “Dedicated To My Roommate” post will be nothing but “It’s YOUR Turn To Re-Alphabetize The Books” or “If You Drank All The Wine I Will Eat Your Babies.” But right now, it’s great. It’s comfortable, and comforting, and more than I could have asked for.

Life is not perfect, but my life has some very good people in it. I’m lucky to be on this adventure with one of the best.

Traveling to Ireland with My Mother: The Last Part

You can find all of the other parts here: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven. I’m long-winded.

Our last full day in Mayo took us on a few rainy-day adventures, starting with a trip to Rockfleet Castle, one of Grace O’Malley’s homes. This is how you find it:

thataway

Good luck.

Rockfleet was one of the last places Grace lived – and probably where she died. It is pretty much in the water, too, because of course it is. Grace loved the sea.

Rockfleet and the sea

Rockfleet and the sea

I put that slightly romantic (via instagram) picture first – here’s what it really looked like on the day, construction and our Happy Europcar included:

"Castle."

“Castle.”

Anyway, after climbing all over things the signs specifically warned us against climbing, we drove on from the castle to the city of Castlebar and the Museum of Country Life.

The museum hosts some really excellent permanent exhibits about day-to-day, er, country life. (Eight posts in and the quality of description is just as sharp as ever, folks.)  My favorite part was a fascinating and horrifying Irish ‘headhunter’ exhibit. It is a stunning set of photographs of the native people of the west coast of Ireland in the 1890s (including some from my Clare Island, so of course I loved it). But they were taken for the gross reason of documenting a “primitive” race (the Irish), measuring their skulls to determine what made them lesser, or more likely to be criminals. The exhibit also talked about eugenics, and the portrayal of the “wild Irish” as far up as the late 20th century. Fascinating and horrifying.

We didn’t really get to stop in Castlebar due to the rain, which is too bad – I know my great-great grandparents spent the last part of their lives there, and are buried somewhere nearby. Castlebar was the return address on all the letters from g-g-grandma Bridget (aren’t they all) to her daughter Mary (yep, that’s the other name Irish women can have) in the states, letters made up almost entirely of heavy-handed hints that one of her sons should enter the priesthood. Luckily for us descendants, none of them did; they fought that Irish Catholic sterotype by living in Massachusetts and having lots of children with names like Patricia (and the trifecta is complete).

Anyway.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in doing a bit of shopping in Westport before heading back to our cottage. The owners of the cottage – who we had yet to meet – were going to come by, and mom and I were nervous.  We built up a fire out of bog turf and kindling – something we had tried to do for hours our first day at the cottage and had yet to master – and waited for J & M to arrive. We hoped they wouldn’t stay long.

Then they arrived, and we wished the would never leave.

First of all, they finally got a roaring fire going for us. Making heat out of logs of dried dirt is not something one learns in Minnesota, but it was second nature to our hosts. Then they chatted with us about everything we’d done, our connection to the cottage, their connection to it, and what they remembered about our relatives. They didn’t know my mother’s grandfather, being only in their sixties themselves, but thought maybe one of the neighbors might.

“The O’Malley girls?” M asked her husband.

“Yes, or maybe Seamus Balls,” J said.

“Oh, Seamus Balls, yes,” M agreed. “He knows all of that, he’s very old.”

“Yes, and is he 4 foot?”

“Four foot, he never grew,” M said. “You know? His arms are in proportion, but he never grew.”

At the tail end of a nearly perfect dream vacation, warmed by the fire and my nightly Guinness, I slowly became aware that these two delightful strangers with thick Irish brogues were speaking of an elderly Irish little person who might hold the answers to my family’s history – an Irish little person named Seamus Balls.

I AM GOING TO MEET A LEPRECHAUN, I thought.

“”But he’s in hospital now, so you can’t see him,” M said. “It’ll be the O’Malley girls, then.”

J placed a call, got the “address” (aka end of which dirt road) of the O’Malley girls’ place and arranged for us to meet them before Mass the next morning. The evening ended with J and M refusing to accept payment for our stay. We’d been wondering all week what the charge was going to be (because, true to our ‘this will work out without any planning’ style, we hadn’t asked before), and had been anticipating a high rate because our stay could not have been better. And yet it was free, because we were, vaguely, family of someone they used to know.

After J and M left, my mother and I collapsed into giggles. Seamus Balls? Free stay? The delightful J and M and soon, the O’Malley girls? Our luck is beyond measure.

The next day, we had tea with the O’Malley girls, who were, of course, in their eighties or nineties. They also remembered more about our distant relatives than direct ones – those truths are with the small-but-proportional Seamus, I guess. We returned home to pack and take a trek out to a bend in the river just beyond our cottage that still bears our family name. We cut through a field (also “ours”) and visited the pool.

thepool

The wind chased us back inside, where we we packed up and said goodbye to our cottage, our path, our road, and our Irish home.

Goodbye for now.

Goodbye for now.

After one last stop – the church where my great-great-grandparents were married and my grandfather was baptized – we set out on the road. Our last day we simply cut across the country, stopping at a very nice but impersonal hotel outside of Dublin. There, I had another Guinness and my mother a cider and we got sadder and sadder as we realized it was over.  And it was – the next day was just car return, bus, airport, very fast Guinness, plane, airport, plane, taxi, home.

We’ve been home for six months. It’s a year since I asked my mother if I could take her to Ireland. And it’s only, I would wager, about one or two years until our next trip back.

Traveling To Ireland With My Mother: Part Seven

Today, it’s been 100 years since my great-grandmother left Ireland for good. It’s been four months since my mother and I went back. And almost as importantly, it’s been a full month since I started writing about a ten-day vacation. Probably I should wrap this up…sometime.

So, picking up where I left off (parts one, two, three, four, five, and – sheeshsix are here):

After learning about Grace’s descendants and the history of Westport, we turned back towards Louisburgh on a road that runs along the coast of Clew Bay. We stopped once for two sites. First, Croagh Patrick – the mountain where St. Patrick fasted and drove the snakes out of Ireland:

Patrick and his mountain, known locally as "The Reek"

Patrick and his mountain, known locally as “The Reek”

People are constantly making pilgrimages up this mountain. We climbed twenty feet to this statue and found it sufficient. Somehow, I’d never before realized this mountain was in Mayo and my grandfather was born essentially in the shadow of it.

Second, a famous “Coffin Ship” famine memorial at the base of the Reek:

IMG_1652

Even the ship looks emaciated

One of the first things I remember learning about County Mayo was the phrase “Mayo, God help us.” As in the response to the question, “Where are you from?” County Mayo was one of the worst hit places of the Great Famine. That’s why this monument is here, but it isn’t the only one in the county.

We’d learned about an event called the “Doolough Tragedy” while on our travels: In 1849, around 600 starving Irish walked from Louisburgh to Delphi Lodge, 12 miles south, in hopes of receiving food or relief from the Board of Guardians. They were turned away, and many died on the walk back – some from starvation, some from falling off the edge of the path. It is said that hundreds died. They were buried where they fell, if they were buried at all.

There’s now an annual famine walk on this road, and a small monument about eight miles south of Louisburgh. Mom and I went in search of it (in our Happy Europecar, not on foot), and somewhere along the way realized it was our second perfectly beautiful day – and that despite its history, Doolough Pass is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been.

IMG_1659

Doolough Tragedy Monument

This picture is about 1/10th as beautiful as it is in real life

This picture is about 1/10th as beautiful as it is in real life

We spent about an hour or so wandering up and down the road, avoiding sheep and steep cliffs and saying little besides “Wow.” Then, feeling exceptionally lucky, we decided to do some grave hunting.

The first graveyard I chose (completely on a hunch) was haphazard, packed, and rocky – at least, I thought it was rocky; it occurred to me halfway through our trek that I was actually walking on fallen headstones whose names had completely disappeared. And we still managed to find an ancestor. The second graveyard was even more of a hilly, discombobulated mess – and we found an ancestor there, too; ancestors who lived in Mayo during the years of the Great Famine.

I still don’t know how they survived it, but I do know that when my family finally left, they were hoping to put hardship behind them. I look at where I am and all the privileges I have today, and I know they succeeded.

Next up: The end. Almost. Probably. Maybe?

Traveling to Ireland with my Mother: Part 6

After sufficiently freaking out about our cottage, mom and I decided to look for more of our roots in and around Louisburgh. We knew her father was born on Bridge Street; luckily there is only one Bridge Street, and it is approximately one block long.

BridgeStreet

We also put my navigational skills to the test (our British Lady was a little spotty on what passed for roads in this part of the country) and found Clare Island.

ClareIsland

That’s the view from the dock of the ferry to Clare Island. In the non-tourist season, it runs once in the morning and once in the evening; this is as close as we got (this trip). My great-grandmother was born there, and generations before her.

This area is called Clew Bay; Clare Island is the largest of the many small islands in the bay. For centuries, this was known as the kingdom of Umaill. The ruling clan eventually took on the surname Ó Máille – now anglicized as O’Malley – and one of the most famous of the clan is thought to be buried on Clare Island: Gráinne Ní Mháille, or Grace O’Malley, the Pirate Queen.

Everything about Grace is fascinating to me, and not just because we have a connection to her. She was educated. She was fierce. She faced off with Queen Elizabeth. She was an independent, strong woman at a time when that was rare, and she is still remembered 400 years after her death. I know her life was probably harsh, and she was harsh, and to romanticize pirates is a silly thing – but still. She’s worth remembering.

GraceOMalley

That statue of Grace is displayed on the grounds of the Westport House, the estate owned by the 11th Marquis of Sligo – Grace’s direct descendants. We made a stop at Westport House our second day in Mayo after a brief stop at the tourism office. We had the whole place to ourselves – and it was quite the place.

To recap: direct descendants got this; descendants of those who fought for her...cottages and tenant farms.

To recap: direct descendants got this; descendants of those who fought for her…cottages and tenant farms.

Westport House is built on the remains of the dungeons of one of Grace’s castles. Rather unfortunately, the dungeons are now decked out with gaudy pirate decorations.  This was my favorite room in the house, called “the children’s room.” See how many horrifying things you can spot!

Personally, I like the doll hanging from the music stand.

Personally, I like the doll hanging from the music stand.

Actually, my favorite find from this morning was a framed quote by William Makepeace Thackeray, who wrote in his Irish sketchbook:

It forms an event in one’s life to have seen that place, so beautiful is it, and so unlike other beauties that I know of. Were such beauties lying on English shores, it would be a world’s wonder, perhaps if it were on the Mediterranean or Baltic, English travellers would flock to it by hundreds, why not come and see it in Ireland.

I can’t say I disagree.

ClewBay

Next up: County Mayo God Help Us – Famine History

Traveling to Ireland with my Mother: Part 3

(Parts one and two)

After saying farewell to Cobh and getting into our only “fight” (which was really just me yelling things because I hit a wrong button on the GPS), ma and I started heading west. We stopped at a town called Macroom for lunch, finding a booth at a darkened pub. That was where we were sitting when the news broke of Margaret Thatcher’s death. I know this was news everywhere, but it was especially huge in Ireland for obvious reasons. Over the next few days and nights whenever we’d catch some TV, we’d learn more about how the Irish felt about Margaret Thatcher. Spoiler alert: not positively!

After Macroom, we were back on the road to Killarney. Now, our travel bible during this trip was Rick Steves’ Ireland 2013. It was a great guide, but Rick strongly hates Killarney for being too “touristy.” He’s right, Killarney is a tourist town, but there’s something to be said for towns built with sidewalks and crosswalks and nice hotels and shops. We stayed at the Arbutus Hotel, which was lovely and had a nice pub downstairs.

IMG_1559

A favorite moment.

Anyway, we were really only using Killarney as our starting and ending point for the Ring of Kerry coach tour. I’m glad I chose to book us a coach tour rather than try to drive it myself, because we would not have known all the great places to stop, and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the views while driving. I would be too busy having a heart attack.

Actually, this is a great road, compared to some places I drove.

Actually, this was a pretty great road compared to some – two lanes and everything!

The Ring of Kerry tour took all day and was well worth the 20-ish Euros we paid. Our guide was charming and knowledgeable and said things like “there’s a castle well-clad in ivy” like it was not a very amazing thing.

One of the first stops was at a bog museum and featured live music and dancing. This would not be our last encounter with bog turf.

Some Irish chickens, for my friend Sara at The Daily Chicken

We also spotted some Irish chickens for my friend Sara at The Daily Chicken

The Ring of Kerry tour makes a loop around County Kerry (that much was probably obvious), stopping at ridiculously scenic points along the way. The pictures can’t really do it justice, especially since it was a bit foggy, but trust me when I say it was breathtaking.

IMG_1565

We were in Kerry during lambing season, so we saw literally thousands of lambs (and I got pictures of none of them). They were cute, but ma and I were seated in front of a woman with a strong New York accent who wouldn’t stop talking about the cute lambs unless it was to berate her husband. I named her Debbie. At one point we were able to hold a lamb; ma and I chose not to, but Debbie did and continually said it was “the best paaaht” of her whole trip. Until, that is, a few hours later, when she realized she smelled like a farm animal.

I’m sorry for laughing at this, Debbie. And thank you for making me grateful I chose to rent a car and not have to put up with other people for our entire trip.

Anyway, the coast was just lovely:

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But for us, “the best paaaaht” was Torc Waterfall:

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You could tell me that the Garden of Eden is hidden somewhere in this national park in Ireland and I would believe you. Especially since we also learned that Michael Fassbender grew up near here. Sounds like paradise to me.

Next up: my life reaches its pinnacle at the Cliffs of Insanity

Traveling to Ireland with my mother: Part 2

Our third day in Ireland started with a farewell to our first B&B and a hello to our new traveling companion: our Happy Europcar!

happy europcar driver

We also sprang for the British-lady-voiced GPS. We would not have made it far without her. Frankly, we wouldn’t have made it out of Dublin without her.

Here’s what I would recommend about renting a car in Ireland: 1) Do it. 2) Go through Irish Car Rentals. 3) Get all the insurance. All of it. 4) Learn where everything is on the car before even taking it out of park. 5) Learn about Irish road signs before you even get in the car.

Guess which two of these things I did not do? I figured out how to turn on the windshield wipers ten minutes after it started raining, how to open the gas tank five minutes after we pulled up to the pump (and then only because a kind Irish stranger offered help), and how to switch off the lights two hours after I accidentally left them on. But I figured out the radio right away.

Then there were the road signs. Getting used to those was far more nerve-racking than driving on the wrong side of the road, from the wrong side of the vehicle. My favorite was one that read “Slow,” until I found one that said “Slower.”

Not. Exaggerating.

Not. Exaggerating.

Our first stop out of Dublin was Glendalough. My friend Aimee recommended we visit it, and we were not disappointed.

Glendalough

I took this picture. I know, I’m shocked too.

It was maybe an hour from Dublin (the way I drove), in the Wicklow mountains. We hiked to one of the lakes and climbed around some ruins and basically decided there are shades of green in Ireland that do not exist anywhere else on the planet. Even on an overcast April day.

Emerald Forest

Emerald Forest

After Glendalough, our British Lady took us on a meandering path through the Wicklow mountains, which is great for your first day of international driving. Actually it was fine, and I really enjoyed the scenery that was directly in front of the car. Whatever was out the side windows was completely lost to me.

It looked something like this, I guess.

It looked something like this, I guess.

The last part of day three’s drive was actually just freeway, and very easy (until it started raining and I couldn’t figure out how to see for a few minutes). We arrived at our next stop – Cobh – around 5 p.m.

We arrived with wind and rain and found our hotel – the WatersEdge – with no problem as it is literally at the water’s edge. I followed the directions to the car park and for a panicky second thought they expected me to pull onto a boat at the end of a dock, but no – just make a very sharp left and park underneath a building on the edge of the sea! We spent the rest of the night at the hotel – eating dinner, journaling, and listening to the wicked weather.

The view from our room (photobombed by a barge)

The view from our room (photobombed by a barge)

Cobh, formerly Queenstown, is a small town outside of Cork. I’ve actually been there before, but this time I knew what I was experiencing: the last stop my great-grandmother (Grammy), two great-uncles, and grandfather made in Ireland before they left it for good. My grandfather was just over a year, but Grammy was in her thirties and (as far as we know) had never left Ireland before. Cobh is also the port where Titanic stopped in Ireland. Call me a romantic, but the gloomy weather really seemed to match the history of the place.

The next day, we went through the Titanic Experience – and we were the only two people there, despite it being less than a week from the anniversary of the sinking. I know a lot about the Titanic because I was an obsessive 12-year-old girl in 1997 – you’ll get there in a second – but this time I tried to think less about Jack and Rose (there it is) and more about what it meant to the immigrants who boarded ships after the Titanic sank, like Grammy. I would find it terrifying, so it’s lucky Grammy was not like me, or I wouldn’t be here.

Annie Moore was the first emigrant processed through Ellis Island in 1892, and she departed from Cobh.

Annie Moore was the first emigrant processed through Ellis Island in 1892, and she departed from Cobh.

After the Titanic Experience, we went through the Cobh Heritage Centre, which is also right on the water. We learned a lot about the immigrants of various eras and the ships, including those full of famine victims and known as “Coffin Ships.”  For the first time I wondered how my family actually lasted in Ireland as long as they did.  Irish people had been leaving the country for fifty years by the time my family got around to it. How did they survive? And what finally made them leave?

Cliffhanger! We’ll come back to that, but next: Killarney, the Ring of Kerry, and How The Irish Feel About Margaret Thatcher

Traveling to Ireland with my mother: Part 1

Somewhere in between making everyone do my bidding for my birthday and attacking asthma with the Force, I went to Ireland. And I brought my mom.

Here is a summary of the trip: It was perfect. End of summary.

But just in case you are planning to take a trip to Ireland with your mother and she is exactly like my mother, or you are my mother and have been waiting months for me to write about this, here is a slightly more detailed summary.

Part 1: Pre-Travel Panic, Food Hoarding, and Dublin

Our first stop in Ireland was Dublin – but first we had to get there. My mother and I are nervous flyers, so I chose to go to happy hour the night before. Mom chose to stay at my apartment – and text me this:

It was cleverly hidden in my fridge.

When we did make it onto the plane, it was a short jaunt to Chicago. I will never again transfer through O’Hare. The distance between terminals can be measured in human misery. From Chicago, we flew Aer Lingus (I would definitely fly with them again), and our plane was called the Saint Patrick, which is a pretty special thing for us.

There’s a saying in my family: “They mean for me to have these.” My grandmother used to say it right before she cleaned out a restaurant’s supply of Splenda, Half and Half, whatever. Ma and I were unable to leave any leftovers, starting with the plain bread rolls on the airplane. We then carried our “food bag” from city to city to city.

Food bag, deconstructed

Food bag, deconstructed

Here’s some advice for you: pay attention to your arrival time. If, for instance, you arrive in Dublin at 5:00 a.m. and you can’t drop off your bags at the B&B until 8 and even then can’t actually check-in until 12, maybe hang out at the airport for a while. It’s warm there, they have coffee, and – is that a MN Twins game on TV? (It was!) If you choose to ignore this advice, your mother’s first view of Ireland is going to be dark streets, her first beverage will be a crappy coffee in a freezing train station, and her first activity will be surreptitiously thawing out her feet in a convenience store. This is not what you want.

But you will also get to watch the sunrise over the Liffey, if you are into beautiful things.

But you will also get to watch the sunrise over the Liffey, if you are into beautiful things.

We also tried to keep ourselves awake by visiting a library with a thousand-year-old Bible and shelves straight out of Beauty and the Beast. Mom was a good sport, but really only nerds like me or Lacy could possibly find this stimulating after being awake for 30 hours. And possibly Liz Lemon.

trinity college

This was my “So many different types of sparrows!” moment.

The rest of day one involved a nap, dinner, and a pint of Guinness at a pub populated only by cursing old Irish men betting on horse races. Guess which one of these things was my favorite.

Day two began with a visit to the Guinness Storehouse. I wanted to do it right away, just so my mother would know how this trip was going to go. Bonus: She also didn’t really want to drink her free beer at 11 a.m., so bonus black stuff for me!

Guinness Storehouse

When I pour stouts and want to get fancy, I draw an "S." I did not pour this stout.

When I pour stouts and want to get fancy, I draw an “S.” I did not pour this stout.

After Guinness and lunch, we tried to go to Dublin Castle, but it was closed to the public…and had been for about six months. I probably could have researched this before. Instead, we went to Kilmainham Gaol, which was fascinating. I don’t know if any of my ancestors spent time there, but we did find our family name mysteriously carved into a cell’s doorway which was good enough for me. And it is featured in basically every Irish period drama featuring a jail, which is basically every Irish period drama, which is basically every Irish movie you’ve heard of aside from Waking Ned Devine.

Next time: Glendalough, Cobh, and Driving in Ireland Without Hurting Myself Or Others!

Fashionista Flashback: Normal American Girl Edition

Happy Independence Day!

Later today, I’ll be going to a Twins vs. Yankees game, enjoying a dinner of pizza and beer, and watching fireworks. What could be more American than that, you ask?

How about…THIS?

Sugar Beet days

It’s possible that you would like some context.

I am from a small town in southwestern Minnesota, and like all small towns in southwestern Minnesota, mine celebrates its heritage every summer. We have a parade, a street dance, flea markets and games. We used to have a Junior Miss pageant that was exactly like the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous, minus the murdering, but sadly no longer.

In DDG, the theme of the pageant always incorporates America (“Amer-I CAN! Proud to be an American! Buy American!”). In my hometown, the theme of the entire celebration incorporates our town’s key crop: the Sugar Beet.

Look, anything can seem normal when you’re raised with it, including a week of celebrating beets, okay?

The pageant was always my favorite part as a kid.  But my second favorite part was the kiddie parade.

It’s exactly what it sounds like: all the kids in town are woken up early, dressed in costumes made by their aunts or mothers, and encouraged to walk down Main Street carrying signs incorporating puns on the word beet. Then they turn around and walk back up Main Street because it’s only about a block long. The whole thing takes about 15 minutes and is a general confusion of cuteness and tantrums.

Pictured above: the “prize winners” of the Sugar Beet Days kiddie parade in about 1989. My brother and I are on the far right, dressed as Polyester Captain America and a Precious Moments figurine. No, actually, according to our sign, which we must have ditched at the end of the street, we were “Uncle Sam and the Pioneer Spirit.”

It actually just occurred to me this morning that the Pioneer Spirit might not be a real character. Google seems to think the Pioneer Spirit is a bunch of buffaloes, not a four-year-old in an over-sized bonnet and what appear to be tap shoes.  My mom made it up just to give me a reason to walk down the street with my brother.  Again – anything can seem normal when you’re raised with it.

Anyway, I think we came in second that year, between Mr. and Mrs. Sugar Beet (who still haunt my dreams) and the three little pigs (who were the other kids who showed up).

The kiddie parade still goes on when there are enough kids to participate. The Uncle Sam costume (made by my aunt) actually made its third appearance a few years ago on another generation of my family and once again took home a prize.

What I’m trying to say is that my hometown is weird in the way that all small American towns are weird. Nothing ever really changes, and that’s comforting. I biked every street within that one-square mile. I swam in that town pool a thousand times, then walked to the Malt Shoppe or the pharmacy to spend my twenty-five cents on candy. I didn’t worry about politics, or war, or whether or not I’d be allowed back in to school in the fall because I was a girl. And of course my school would still be there, and no one would stop me from going to church every week, and there would always be food in the fridge and I’d always be safe and happy and free.

Anything can seem normal when you’re raised with it.

Happy birthday, America. You are weird and flawed and my home. Thank you for my happy childhood.

Well, mostly happy childhood. I think I was pretty over the parade scene by this point.

I will end you