It is a fact known to all that I have no immune system. No matter how many flu shots I get or vitamins I take, if someone sneezes within an eight-block radius of me, I’m going to get sick. It’s also pretty widely known that I am the biggest wimp when it comes to illnesses, particularly sore throats and/or coughs after missing a good chunk of my life (not to mention the most important day of the year, my birthday) due to pneumonia a few months ago. So when I woke up with a sore throat a few days before Halloween, I went straight for my own personal healing potion of drugs, popsicles, couch, and DVDs, before saying “screw it” and going out as Liz Lemon two nights in a row. Nothing is more important than my health…except, of course, costume parties.
So here it is, a few days after Halloween, and time to fight this thing for real. I told the bosses I’d be in late today (for no good reason other than wanting to rest), and when I woke up I enjoyed a hearty breakfast of two cups of coffee, a dose of prescription cough medicine, and a few whiffs from my leftover pneumonia inhaler that always makes me tweak. When I finally got to work, two hours late, I was totally blitzed on cough medicine. I announced this to everyone, made my bosses watch my hands vibrate, and leaned against every surface in the office while giggling uncontrollably. The effects wore off after four hours, at which time my boss told me to take some more. Which I did. Sometimes, I really love my job.