It is taking all of my mental energy not to buy a one-way ticket to Cancun right now (perhaps my sudden need to relearn Spanish has nothing to do with nuns after all). Minnesota, why do I live in you? According to weather.com, not only is it 19 degrees outside, it also “feels like 19 degrees,” which is not helpful. Anything under freezing should just say “feels like you should stay inside today, maybe eat some soup and drink hot chocolate.” Any negative number — and you know those days are coming — can just read “don’t even get out of bed today, it’s not worth it.” But these things aren’t options, and neither is calling in to work “cold,” so there’s nothing for it but to pull on the ol’ long underwear, wool coat, muppet scarf, and really hip earmuffs and bitch my way out the door.
In conclusion: Eff you, Minnesota. Eff you in your frigid ass.