It’s All In the Timing

What a strange and wonderful weekend.

First, I went to see David Sedaris. This involved sitting in a room full of gay men, including Steve, which is my kind of Friday night. It took forever to get our books signed because Mr. Sedaris writes a personal something or other in everyone’s book. When it came to me, he asked, “What do you do?”
“Um,” I stammered. “That’s a good question. I graduated from college and I’m looking for a job, basically.”
“When did you graduate?”
“…a year ago.”
“Ah.” Mr. Sedaris moved past me and started on Steve (“It takes a real man to wear gold on his shirt”), and it wasn’t until we were almost out of the bookstore that I looked at my inscription:
“To Rachel: We’re all so proud of you. David Sedaris.”

BURN.

Obviously I find this excellent. A personalized insult from one of my literary heroes! Could it have played out any better?

The rest of the weekend was a series of mishaps and ironic timing usually found only in screwball comedies of the ’40s. At one point I was waiting for a phone call. Since my phone doesn’t like to ring, I was obsessively checking my voicemail for the seventh time when I realized I’d accidentally hung up on a number I didn’t recognize. I immediately dialed it, and was confused when Angi answered.

“I’m at the zoo with Ari, and we’re wondering: were the Olympics ever held in Japan?”

“Nagano. 1998,” I heard myself give the answer before I even realized I knew it, which probably explains why, when having a Japanese-monkey-related debate with her fiance, Angi chose to call me to resolve the matter. Of course, during the thirty seconds it took to share this exchange, I missed the call I was waiting for. Luckily, I was able to call back and already had the built-in excuse of my insane, temperamental phone, so I didn’t have to reveal my alter ego of Go-To Trivia Girl, at the ready with all your bizarre information needs (“better than the internet, and cheaper, too!”).

This weekend was just a nice little reminder that, even as my life plans crumble to dust around me, God still loves me. And He has a wicked sense of humor.

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