XANGA, stop dicking around with your settings. I don’t use you because you’re cutting edge, I use you because you are simple, straightforward, and unpopular — so no one can find you or me. That is all I want.
Everyone’s in a damn tizzy. We’re all fortifying ourselves for the big bad belated blizzard. If we lived in Hawaii, this would be news. But here, it’s just another inconvenience and further proof that groundhogs do not make good meteorologists. They need a third setting, after “winter = over” and “winter is today + six weeks,” there should be “Um, it’s not my fault you live in Minnesota. What did you expect? Winter = life.” Not that I haven’t played my part in the usual bits of fretting and griping associated with days like this; that’s just what we do. We act like it’s a big life-disrupting emergency when really we’re excited about the three-day weekend and know in our hearts not even a foot of snow in April could keeps us from wherever we’re hell-bent on going.
Actually, I’m hell-bent on staying in. Unless my boss’ early morning order of “Don’t come in tomorrow” had nothing to do with the weather — then I’ll be hauling my unemployed ass to the bar.