It’s about time to review the glory/tragedy that was 2007.
Accomplishments: Visited NYC, won story contest, graduated from college, got babyjob, moved for eighth time, made a woman cry, moved for ninth time, became one with nature in Wisconsin, started fires with a drip torch as part of babyjob, applied to grad schools, did not kill bird/landlord or anyone else to best of my knowledge, made this list
Let’s call them “setbacks”: Failed to move on after graduation, hit Anna’s car, lived in impecunious state (thanks dictionary.com), routinely manhandled dead animals for babyjob, failed to discover meaning of life, spent absurd amount of money on coffee, killed at least fifteen plants, did not always do exactly what was supposed to do while at work (see final entry, “Accomplishments”)
Favorite moment of the year: Finding out about the storything. The greatest moment of my year came in the form of an e-mail from a nun. Top that.
Least favorite moment: Graduating, or the consequences of it.
Entire seasons of TV shows watched: 30 Rock (1), Alias (1&2), Arrested Development (all), Bones (1&2 – this is the obvious favorite), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (all), Dexter (1), Entourage (1 – disliked), Heroes (1), House (1,2,&3), Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1&2), Moonlighting (1&2) Psych (1)
Books devoured: Happily, more than I can remember. Does time spent reading cancel out time spent watching television? One can only hope.
New favorites (books): The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov, The Time-Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, “Ashes” (short story) by David Sedaris, The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie, Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Book clubs restarted: 1
Book clubs joined: 1
Book clubs potentially killed: 2
New favorites (movies): I, like everyone, enjoyed Juno, Waitress, Hot Fuzz, No Country for Old Men and Pan’s Labyrinth. But I also enjoyed Live Free or Die Hard and National Treasure: Book of Secrets, so what the hell do I know.
I hate you almost as much as I hate Hollow Man: Premonition, Spider-Man 3, Pirates 3, Smokin’ Aces, Ghost Rider, License to Wed, The Ex, We Own the Night…Oh, there’s more.
New favorites although if they were played more on the radio who knows, I might hate them too (music): “Grey in LA,” Loudon Wainwright; “Heavenly Day,” Patty Griffin; “Dig,” Incubus; “Grace is Gone,” Dave Matthews; “Emotion Commotion,” Rufus Wainwright; “Good Times” by Sam Cooke (which is way not new, but a new favorite anyway)
Everytime I hear this I want to kill myself in the eye: Fergie’s continued obsession with spelling and missing you “like a child misses their blanket” (the grammar…it burns the soul); the Soulja Boy song, which as far as I can tell is not in English; Nelly Furtado talking about how awesome she is; Little effing Drummer Boy; Nickelback; Matchbox 20; Hinder; Coldplay; and “Hey There Delilah”
…Then again, what do I know, because for no good reason I enjoy: The “snap yo’ fingas, do yo’ steeeeps!” song because Lil’ Jon is a crunk muppet
Other addictions acquired: Swaptree, Grist, buying used books
Also, I have a new girlcrush: Zooey Deschanel. Sorry, Mandy, but License to Wed was ridiculous in a terrible way (why is that creepy young boy hanging around the priest, does he not have parents? Why do you have a different perfect hairstyle in every scene? Why does your best friend Carlisle look so exactly like Andy that Jenna and I actually wondered if it was him? How can you expect me to believe you made the move from high schooler (Saved, How to Deal, American Dreamz, etc.) to young professional (this, Because I Said So) with no transition in between, when I am probably going to be in my thirties before I make that sort of jump?). Zooey, on the other hand, was in the completely cracked out Wizard of Oz meets Superman meets Twitches (yeah, that’s right, Twitches) Sci-Fi miniseries, Tin-Man, and I don’t hate her for it.
Quotes of the year:
Rachel: “I think I cheated my way through the English major.”
S. Mara: “I think you did, too.”
Rachel: “Do you know what a hookah is?”
Mom: “Yes, you smoke pot in it. … Some people do. … Or so I’ve heard.”
“You got the best degree, because you’re good at communicating, so you’re at the top of the pot. That’s why I’m at the top of the pot. I’m good at communicating, so I’m on the top of the toilet.”
Goals for 2008:
Find a future, attach it to self with soap and fly back to Neverland.
Write one smash-hit Christmas song that will be replayed for years to come so never have to work again.
Plan and actually take vacation to LA.
Continue not killing animals that are in my care (or ones that aren’t. Just don’t kill animals).
Find and destroy everything involved with Indy 4, excluding Harrison, the hat, and the whip. Jury’s out on Shia. No hope for Mr. Lucas.
Perfect Scottish accent in time for Angi’s wedding.
Potential 2008 Mottos:
2008…Be from a blue state.
2008…Try not to fuck it up.
2008…The end of the world is here, predicts Nostradamus. Also predicts clouds, chance of rain.
2008…the other 3000 saved their bread and fish for later. (rim shot)
2008…Was that necessary?