Insanity on clearance

I remember being 12 or 13, and for some reason in the cities at a mall with my friend Tiffany, and we were both crazy excited to go to a music store.  I bought the score to The Man in the Iron Mask for obvious Leo-obsession reasons, and she bought Automatic for the People because of “Nightswimming.”  We both looked at each other like the other was insane.  Ten years later, I realized she was right and bought the R.E.M. CD at Electric Fetus.

I’m addicted to books, guys.  And not just the reading part.  I did read three books this week – one was the third Traveling Pants book (embarassing), one was Catch Me If You Can (I want to be a criminal now, except for the whole getting caught and going to French prison thing), and one was Marathon Man (which caused some unfortunate and frightening fever dreams) – but now it’s worse, I have an overwhelming need to own every single book I see, except ones with Ann Coulter on the cover (shudder).  Anna and I went to B&N and I started to get a headache from all the books and the wanting.

So you can get some sense of my sickness, this week I acquired, thanks to B&N, Books Revisited, Swaptree, and Savers, the following books:

Marathon Man by William Goldman
Girls in Pants: The Third Summer of the Sisterhood by Ann Brashares
The Family Tree by Carole Cadwalladr
Tinsel by William Goldman
The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams
Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
The Rachel Papers by Martin Amis
Vinegar Hill by A. Manette Ansay
Welcome to My Planet Where English Is Sometimes Spoken by Shannon Olson
The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

Once again, these were all acquired within the last week.  So obviously I have a problem.  I have three theories in this matter: 1) addiction to bargains, 2) addiction to second-hand consumerism, or 3) boredom.

1.  My only defense here is that, aside from The Family Tree which was purchased brand-new and full-priced at B&N, this book-buying binge set me back by about $20.  I cannot – cannot! – resist a bargain.  This also explains my movie collection (Greedy and *batteries not included on VHS for a dollar!  Who can say no to that?), my vast assortment of Old Navy tank tops and flip-flops, and even my groceries (I don’t need five cans of mandarin oranges, really I don’t, but if you put a “Truckload Buy!” sign next to anything I will buy it.).

2.  This is a lot like theory #1, except it has nothing to do with my groceries (second-hand groceries? Ewww).  It just gives me a place to admit that I have also added 6 used DVDs to my life in the past few weeks, and I don’t remember the last unused movie or CD I bought.

3.  Guys, I’m bored.  Weekends are me, in a house, with a bird.  I have to leave sometimes, but I don’t feel right just cruising around aimlessly, so I pick destinations, and then I pick purposes for those destinations.  And St. Cloud is basically just one long stripmall of personality-free stores and restaurants.  The sanest, and cheapest, places for me to wander are those I have chosen.  Well, cheapest anyway.

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