I just went to an event called “Coming out for coffee” in which some famous person was quoted as saying, “I assume everyone I meet is gay until told otherwise,” and all of my friends pointed at me. Yep, that is my motto. Well, that and “trust the fungus.”
Today it occurred to me that I do not need two dvd players, nor will I ever work up the motivation or attention span to sell one of them on ebay, and despite what Jenna says I’m not nice enough to make it a gift. Instead, I did some detective work and discovered Sam’s Club a) sells the gay bingo prize type of DVD player and b) does not require a receipt for returns. I packed up my loot and drove on over, where a very nice man totally bought my “it was a gift” story. A few minutes later I was down one DVD player, but up $30 and change in a Sam’s/Wal-Mart gift card (what a cheap-ass dvd player). Since I do not have a Sam’s membership card, I drove m’self to Wal-Mart and perused the movies. I scoured the racks for Jane Eyre (no luck), thought seriously about buying Kindergarten Cop, and finally settled on Brick, The Usual Suspects, and King Arthur (combined with recent purchases Lucky Number Slevin, A Prairie Home Companion and The Jerk, my movie collection has grown exponentially). Woot.
Usually I am against Wal-Mart, so it did give me pause to flash that smileyface plastic bag as I left the store. I wanted to tell everyone who saw me, “It’s okay, I bought this with gay money!“
Heh. That’ll show ’em.