My friends have this annoying habit of skipping the country. The consequences of this can be disasterous, so they should either A) quit it, or B) take me with them, dammit.
Well, as you know, Lacy came back to the States and I managed to stretch picking her up at the airport into a weeklong vacation. That left me with about a day to say goodbye to Sabrina, so we decided the best thing to do was to eat about four meals in one day – make it seem longer, you know? First was lunch at Panera, and immediately after returning to work I was sent on an errand in boss Mary’s car to pick up a gift for soon-to-be-ex-boss Barbara. I was a little nervous until I realized Mary drives a Buick Century, the car in which I learned to drive. I turned the car on and Mary’s radio starts blasting “We Are Family.” It was a surreal drive to Barnes and Noble — the whole time I was thinking, so this is what it feels like to be Mary. I wondered if that’s what I’d be like at fifty, and decided probably; I do like Buicks and loud music. Something was off, though, until I fiddled with the radio and found Aerosmith – ahh. That’s better. Then I jumped a curb and sped through a couple parking lots. Me At Fifty is just as irresponsible a driver as Me At Twenty.
After work, we ate at Mexican Village, which was a lot of fun. I didn’t get Sabrina any sort of going away present because, again, I don’t think I fully grasp the “Sabrina-in-Chile” concept. I said goodbye to her, and then I may or may not have inadvertantly flashed Division. I got a honk, so I’m thinking my Christmas underwear were a hit. Anyway, then I said goodbye to Andy, who is in Germany for the rest of the month. So, with my two closest St. Cloud friends out of the country, I had no choice but to become a telemarketer. Yep. So, let that be a lesson to you. This is what happens when you leave me alone.
Hopefully I will not have to take such serious action ever again, because the next person to skip the country will probably be me – London in January, of course. Maybe sooner if I piss off enough people with my telemarketing skills. I mean skillz. I got Mad Telemarketing Skillz…bitch. Erm…please don’t hang up on me.