Anna just called me to tell me Mitch Hedberg died, and I responded with, “Is this your idea of an April Fool’s Day joke?” Then I couldn’t really hear what she was saying, and I was trying to search for the news online, so I think I ended up hanging up on her. Not what you want to do to a friend who is passing on tragic and, as it sadly turns out, true news. If you don’t know who Mitch Hedberg was, he was a kick-ass comedian who had the best one-liners ever. Here are a few for your enjoyment:
I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs.
I don’t have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who’d be really mad if she heard me say that.
I would imagine if you understood Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
When someone hands you a flyer, it’s like they’re saying here you throw this away.
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.I bought a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don’t need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the senerio where I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. Don’t even act like I didn’t get that donut. I got the documentation right here.
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re goin’ and hook up with them later.