I am walking on a wire
I tiptoe in through the fire
Never looking down to see that
I am walking on a wire
The pressure’s getting higher
But I don’t look around
It’s so far to the ground

So yeah…this is the cd my mom mailed to me a month and a half ago that never arrived.  She caved and bought another copy and gave it to me yesterday, along with a pillow and an mmmChipotle.  Despite my initial bitterness, I had fun.  Anna stood in for my dad at “Good Humor Men.”  Thanks Anna.

I’ve decided that I hate stage managing.  It involves me looking like a freak, being told how incompetent I am over and over, and feeling really unnecessary until two minutes before the show is to begin when everyone decides they need me to do things for them.  A dude in the Minnesota Orchestra sent me running for two blocks of wood so he’d have a foot rest while performing, so I grabbed a couple 2x4s off the rack and ran them back to him and spent the remainder of the performance picking wood shavings out of my fancy black outfit.  Today we had visiting school orchestras and people asked me things like, “Where can I put my bassoon?”  Do I look like I know what a bassoon is, because if I do, I should really look into corrective surgery for that.  Of course I had to lie and pretended that I not only knew what a basson was but also knew exactly where one should be placed, so I did this like fake search (for what, I don’t know, but a sign that said ‘bassoon goes here’ would have been nice).  My response was something like “Um….(takes three steps)…right…(two more, looks to the left)…here…(half a step back)…would be good.”  And he took my word for it, because when you wear a headset, nobody messes with you because the being on the other end of the headset is obviously God and everything you say is gospel.


5 responses

  1. Well, it’s four panels, underneath of which it says “how nature says, ‘do not touch.'”  The first is a snake rattling its tail, the second is a really spiky blowfish, and the third is a cat with its tail and fur all spiked up and claws out.  The fourth is a man with a boot on his head, wearing a trenchcoat and an animal-shaped innertube, standing on a street corner with a bazooka.  It’s great.

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