I’ve never felt more like Milton from Office Space…people keep stealing my stapler, the nice Swingline (not kidding) and I’m left with this junker, which is not cool since I’m making table tents. I could be making origami squirrels and no one would notice unless I was using the Swingline.
The real reason I want to go to my apartment for lunch is because my boss (same woman who asked me if I knew who Prince is) walked in a few minutes ago and said “It smells like marajuana outside. I thought I was going to get high just by being outside. It’s pot.” First, the very direct way she said this was quite funny. Then, it’s definitely MN Private Colleges Week and there are tours up the wazoo; there’s a basketball camp for fifth graders on campus right now; and tomorrow begins reunion. Just picture the comedy…fifth graders sitting in a circle a la “That Seventies Show”…women who graduated from the college in 1938 saying “Dude, I have the munchies!”…prospective students saying “This is the best school ever!”…and me cruising by on a golf cart. Throw in some wacky nuns, and you’ve got comic gold.
Angi’s wearing my “Talk Nerdy To Me” t-shirt today. I love that shirt. If I were to die soon, I would want to be buried in that t-shirt, provided it can be pried away from Angi. Wouldn’t that be unique, to walk through the gates of heaven in that? But I think once I get there, I’ll revert back to my All Time Greatest Item of Clothing Ever, which was, of course, the multi-colored neon leapord print bathing suit with ruffles which I wore daily when I was five. I’ll look like my five-year-old self, probably, but I’ll still wear denim shoes so my friends can recognize me.
I took a break from stapling things to write a congratulations card to Miss Minnesota. Just thought you’d like to know.